Today has been just 'one of those days'. You know the ones, that seem to go on and on and nothing is achieved?? SO if you dont want to hear me vent, just dont read on any further!!!
Cam spent the night at Hayley's, he sat up for most of the night playing the XBox, then was up well before 6.30am to play it again. They rocked home about 9 and he's been in fine bloody form all day. I hate it when he has what I call 'true Asperger days'. These are the days, I so wish he was back on his medication. He doesn't listen, is extremely rude and cheeky, eats everything in sight (which is a good thing not a bad thing so something good comes of these days) and is just so damn tiring, that I dont know which way is up. He's finally managed to calm down a bit and I have relented and let him watch cartoons until bedtime WHICH if i have my way will be 7pm!! lol.. He gets a sort of glazed look on days like today, i feel sorry for him but yet I also feel sorry for anyone who gets in his way. I told him earlier, it is like having a perpetual 2 yr old in the house, he doesn't seem to accept reason and does the silliest of things, like tipping all of the dogs water over the top of the dogs and then playing in the mud it makes (just like a 2yr old!!). Very Tiring day indeed!!! I'm tired of cleaning up after him today!
I also had a menopausel moment, which really hasn't helped my mood much at all, in fact, since having it, i've been downright depressed. I felt i needed to talk to my dad today after all, it's saturday, i used to ring him on Saturdays, only thing was. I sort of forgot that my Dad had died, I rang the nursing home and felt a right absolute idiot, when the nurse informed me that he was no longer with us, she must be used to it though, because i just stammered and she said, it happens a lot. I cried for ages after that. I feel I'm not allowed to be depressed or upset about my dad's passing because when i do, if I'm asked what's wrong, i get eye rolling and oh is that all, when i say what's up with me. It seem's it is not acceptable for ME to grieve but it's ok for others. This comes from friends as well as family. Sometimes i just want to yell at them and tell them that believe it or not, I am human too. (surprise!!!!)
On days like today, I feel totally alone, no friends, nothing (*SIGH* insert Mr Lonely song here!!! Lonely, I'm so lonely, I have no-body...to call....myyyyy owwwwnnnnn).
Husband has gone to play poker AGAIN..seem's he has found his calling LOL...so I'm home alone with 2 naughty boys who if i have to speak to them to stop hitting each other with my new cushions just one more time, will be going to bed with very red bottoms!!! NOW where did I hide that vodka bottle??? LOL....think I might try to get a few calendars finished for the calendar swap I'm in. REMIND ME?? why do I do these things?? not drink LOL but do swaps?? I might learn to say no one day!!!
4 comments:
If you want to cry go ahead and cry.
I have seen Cameron at his best poor you today.
I'm going to ring you about 9ish so get that vodka ready girl the boys should be asleep by then.
you know I lubs ya Mr Lonely xxxxx
love 'Your oldest friend' xxxx
Tess it sounds like you'd be right at home at my place! What you described sounds like a normal day here, with 4 boys there is always one of them (or more) playing up, so I can totally sympathise.
Go ahead and cry if you want to, don't worry about anyone else just do what you need to do (and that includes the Vodka if you can find it, lol).
I hope tomorrow is a better day,
Don't you hate days like that.
Tess, of course you are going to miss your dad, it will take a long time before it won't hurt quite as bad.
Must be very hard to deal with the Aspberger's. Thinking of you. xox
Tess sweetie you take all the time you need!! Michael's dad passed away about 4 years ago now (still kinda shocked, it feels like yesterday sometimes) and I still have a little cry or get sad.
Wish I could give you a big Chrissy cuddle right now!!!
Love ya darl!!
Chrissy x
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